Espresso making and jorts are not a safe combo… but, hell, it’s 80 degrees in Chicago (finally)! Go find your favorite pair of pants, cut them off at the knee, and enjoy the weather!


Well, with the weather warming up here in Chicago, it is once again time to turn our heads downward and look at all the jorts people are wearing.

What better way to kick off the Shaki Season than with Vice President Joe Biden himself

“This baby just needs a little scrub down,” said Biden, addressing a tour group as he tucked the sweat-covered top into the belt loop of his cutoff jean shorts. “Gotta get her looking good so I can impress the chicks when I’m cruising down Pennsylvania [Avenue].”

My brother Kevin nearly gets into a car accident taking a photo of a fabulously jorted bicyclist.

Yeeowsas.  Snapped by my brother while nearly getting into an accident this weekend in Chicago.  Note:  worn-in wallet shape in his back pocket — these jorts have biked around the block a few times.

I have to admit, Boston-based OAK Handmade Clothing and Gifts has some really cool-looking, crafty, cute stuff.  But I have to call to attention their Dingey Shorts ($65):

There is SO much going on here, I’m not even sure where to start.  What to call these things.  They are Jorts, the are over-the-waist mom jeans, they are nautical themed, they are worn by a woman who looks partially amphibious herself.  Jorts, Mom Jeans, Sailors… I don’t know what to call these.  I’m open to suggestion.  RIght now I’ll leave it open to discussion. 

These jorts prove one thing — if you are attractive, you can make anything look good.  In fact, that is a Vice Magazine Fashion tip I believe.



Unfortunately, they’re not cutoff shakis but all you need to make Cut-Off Shaki’s is H&M’s summer jorts and a pair of rusty scissors.

Amy is a dedicated Mom that runs the website She loves Gymboree clothing so much she set up a site to celebrate the kids apparel line, and to sell similarly-styled fashions.  Check out here blog here.

The flashy shakis pictured above, “Khaki Fringe Shorts” are from the Surf Island collection and retail at $22.50.  As to be expected, there are TONS of jorts available too:

Denim Cargo Short  Denim Pull On Short Navy Cargo Short

Pay no attention to the article over at entitled “Mens Summer Fashion Mistakes“.  They’re completely against the celebration of any kind of Shants:

jean shorts

jean shorts We recently received an email from a lady in Utah who commented on unattractive summer wear for men.

“I was just wondering, have you ever done an article on the fact that jean shorts are just never okay?? They just aren’t attractive in my humble opinion, and the more I go around town, the more I see both overweight plumpy men and young attractive men who instantly become unattractive because of their clothing choices.”

It’s pretty clear that cut-off jeans are simply out of style and unattractive. Let’s face it, long fringes hanging on a man’s hairy legs isn’t an ideal picture and no matter what it’s combined with, wearing jean shorts is a summer fashion no-no. The phenomenon doesn’t have to be explained further so all of you out there who wear the cut-offs, just know what to do — get rid of them.


Our friend from Utah explains that jean shorts are “awful contraptions” and that they should be replaced by slick Khaki shorts or relaxed cotton shorts. Another alternative to jean shorts are shorts made of trendy synthetic fibers. So many different types of patterns and fabric are available to suit every different style.

To a certain extreme, having your jean shorts altered and getting rid of the fringes can help minimize the nasty look of cut-off jeans. This last resort apparel could be worn when going to the corner store or when throwing the football around with your buddies in the backyard. You get the point.

Thanks AskMen.  Next time I want fashion advice from one girl in Utah, I’ll check back.  In the meantine, I fully support Jorts and Shakis.

Ed Note: I also just learned that “Shaki” is an Asian dildo company.  Ooops.   So, when typing in this website, please take care to DOUBLE CHECK you’ve typed dot-Wordpress and not just  Consider yourself warned.